unfiled thoughts to assorted and unrelated people:
If you do something that upsets me and I point out to you that it’s upsetting, especially if I point out to you that you have a trend of doing it not only to me but to other people who do work for you, and definitely if I also point out to you that you’ve made people feel guilty for less, and all you say is ‘you know I didn’t mean that,’ I will walk off on you. Do it in a moving vehicle again and I will open the door and roll out into the highway.
If you ask me to do something ‘for my own good’ that depends on me sacrificing time I cannot sacrifice because I have other commitments, and I tell you that, and you get impatient and insist that I should do it ‘because it will help me’, I will put it off. If you instead insist I should do it ‘because I owe it to you’ or ‘because I should give you something’, I will not do it entirely. If you’re still upset, expect me to literally stop, nod, and walk away from you mid-conversation.
I only just realized that all of Thursday I have only eaten one pack of biscuits, two bottles of Dasani, and a handful of Lays.
because you didn't answer the phone (Agostini St.)
Sometimes I look back at the things that drive you to walk away from me when I mention them.
They’re dirty mirrors that I should no longer trust to reflect myself well,
but I used to trust them so well, and sometimes I can’t call on you to be there for me when I’m freaking out
so I forgo asking because ‘really?’ doesn’t at all
make my baggage lighter make my eyelids lighter
make the bags under my eyes disappear.
foot on the gas, i’m just tryin’ to pass all the red lights and the stop signs; I’m ready to go but I’m really not ready, girl - that’s a problem, 'cause I'm way too scared to fall, and I know you’d choose to stay, no…
and the pull of the earth on my bones making my toes roots to draw these kinds of feelings out is enough inspiration
to hide away, you know this,
sometimes I’m just begging to look at something beautiful for so long
that I forget what the past looks like and what I look like in it.
Be my present, be my blinder, tape black sheets to all my mirrors
or let me look and stop fighting it.
I need co-pilots and not mutineers.
I need my own panic button and not to feel guilty for having these kinds of thoughts,
because that just makes me look back more, because the people I can’t trust
used to be a whole lot nicer about moments like this, at least,
maybe I should go back there, where people used to scar me
and lie about whose knife it was,
because that works, right?
I can only talk about so many good books and sports and the weather
when there are swelling, bursting clouds above my eyes.
“Oscar Wilde said that if you know what you want to be, then you inevitably become it - that is your punishment, but if you never know, then you can be anything. There is a truth to that. We are not nouns, we are verbs. I am not a thing - an actor, a writer - I am a person who does things - I write, I act - and I never know what I am going to do next. I think you can be imprisoned if you think of yourself as a noun.”—Stephen Fry (via mercurieux)
So I’m testing out Blookist as my preferred platform for hosting St. Minerva’s stories, and I want to know if the layout is ideal and the interface user-friendly for readers.
I just think Blookist would be really promising - it’s nice and legible, and it’s simple enough for prose while allowing me to put all the work of a single serial in one ‘blook’ instead of tagging it here and hoping it’s navigable to everyone (I don’t think it was before).
So if you have the time, just look at it and tell me if it looks like something that would work for you? It’s just a short test run - there isn’t much there - but I want to see if it’d be the kind of thing you’d have no problem reading stories about badass women having adventures there.
(And no, do not fear that I have forsaken Tumblr. There will be a special Tumblr.)
So I want to make the questionnaire as ideal as possible for documenting the Cecils that are coming in, as well as find a way to adjust the findings I already have to be more accurate;
plus I need to find a way to keep all of the charts I have in one place (I’ve realized that every time I adjust the formula I lose all my past charts), and I’d like to share interactive charts that you can hover over and get the smaller percentages from instead of images that I have to break down myself.
So does anyone have any suggestions to make this research better? I’d be infinitely grateful! I’ll give you a shout-out on my blog, and even consider you as a volunteer if you’d like to help!
So send me ideas in my ask, Night Vale! I want to improve it for you!
look at all the colours I won’t hoist, look at all the angry angry I won’t field, today isn’t the kind of day for someone’s sighing, it’s been tough, I was gone since November and now I haven’t held Silence softly in a while, I think she’s cross with me, I think she’s worried that I’ll be at parties like this with all you people’s nagging and wishing and holding carrots over my head again, she’s bored of that, she’s fed up, she wants some her time, and frankly I don’t blame her but get it through your head I only have a few loves, like her, and Empathy Fatigue, and Narcolepsy and Vodka, we can party, it’s the kind of dull that’s sharp to us so if you’re just going to keep bouncing around the air in front of me hoping to get stuck somewhere and never come out
I have a few pliers that aren’t afraid of you
so think long and hard about what it is you think you want to ask of me,
because I don’t have time now, and when I have time,