1. a shaman, never humble

    You want to be happy.

    You will mew
    and ask innocuous questions
    and take a kind of step
    into a blue light
    that distorts you,
    makes all your movements
    fluid and enticing
    and you will grin
    and I will not see it
    but I will know that you are grinning anyway

    and it will be as if we
    are drinking each other’s lives
    on this dance floor.

    You want to be happy.

    I will be staring outside
    on a bench
    while libidos are thumping inside
    and ever red light I see
    is something I wish to pull toward me

    and every blue light I see
    is something I want to pull myself toward

    and it will be so hilariously ironic
    what you are bathing in

    but you will never understand.

    I will stay quiet.
    I may or may not avert my gaze
    and sip some sombre soma of a kind
    in peace
    looking into its red-to-pink with icebergs dancing
    to keep its holy water cold

    as you trade each other gingerly
    in the open.

    You want to be happy.

    I couldn’t possibly begrudge you that.

    And every blue light I see
    is something I want to pull myself toward.

    Maybe some people trade questions for
    happiness

    and some other people trade happiness
    for answers.

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